Barbie: The Movie - A Review by Someone Who Wanted to Like It But Sadly Didn't

Opening Thoughts

My wife and I went and saw Barbie: The Movie, and I have mixed feelings.

First, the opening scene was weird, the little girls in the desert smashing their baby dolls, and the giant Barbie. What the cream puff? [Update, I have since been informed that it’s a comical rehash of the opening sequence of 2001 Space Odyssey, now I get it].

Second, it was hilarious, I LOL’d several times, so many good lines, had me in stitches.

"I Would Never Wear Heels If My Feet Were Shaped Like This."

“Get in the box you Jezebel.”

"I'm A Man With No Power, Does That Make Me A Woman?"

"It’s Like I’ve Been In A Dream Where I Was Really Invested In The Zack Snyder Cut Of The Justice League."

"When I Found Out The Patriarchy Wasn’t About Horses, I Lost Interest Anyway."

Third, the critique of patriarchy was spot on. Men rig things for men. Men often want the appearance of equality but not the practice of equality. Also, it spoke a lot to male fragility, men insecure that women might be their equals or even in some cases their betters. Now that’s a teaspoon of medicine many men need to take!

Fourth, the movie accents the absurd invisible rules women have to live by. Always be thankful. Be successful, but not too successful to intimidate other men. Be pretty, but not too pretty to make other women jealous or to over-encourage the advances of men. It’s taken me almost 50 years to figure this out, but women have this polite giggle as a way of deflecting unfair criticism, stupid comments, and plain nastiness. Men need more empathy for women.

Are Men and Women Good for Each Other?

Yet my critique is this: the film’s underlying message is that women and men are bad for each other.

This is not a man-hating film, its worse, it denies the inherent goodness of male-female relationships.

The message of the film is that men at their worst are predatory patriarchs and the best thing men can do for women is to make themselves irrelevant. Therefore, women must go it alone, without men and far from men.

The film accents the pursuit of female authenticity which requires resisting male authority (fair enough) but also unhitching femself from male complementarity (because it always leads to the former).

Women do not need men. They do not need their protection, permission, or validation.

I get that part, but the premise behind it is that men are not good for women. They are a potentially toxic substance that can be benign if left alone but is preferably quarantined to some distant quarter.

Women and men do not need each other, at all, for anything.

Women should find authenticity in Barbie Land while Men should find authenticity in Kendom.

In other words, the moral of the film is my gender’s authenticity can only be achieved by denying the other gender’s complementarity.

I find that quite sad as the film’s message.

Yes, I know all bad things for women start with “men” …

men-struation
men-o-pause
men-tal breakdown

But women have grandfathers, fathers, husbands, brothers, sons, and nephews.

Is your life better with them in it? Do they add something you don’t get from the women in your life? Are you thankful for them? Would your life be less without them?

There is no “Us” in “House”

In the movie, Barbie says, “It’s Barbie’s Dream House, not Ken’s Dream House,” which obviously hurts Ken’s feelings. When Ken takes over Barbie Land he declares that the place is now “Ken’s Mojo Dojo Casa House not Barbie’s Dream House.”

But I want to ask is it possible for it to be “Our Dream House”?

Instead of Girl’s night or Boy’s night, what about date night, or even mixed doubles tennis?

The film suggests, no, there is no “us” in “Dream House” or “Casa House”!

Can men and women get along, be friends, colleagues, attain deep and intimate partnership in living life together? Maybe I was expecting too much, but Barbie doesn’t ignore the question as much as rule it out altogether.

In effect: Men and women are better off apart. “You do you!”

So I liked what the film critiqued, but I was less enthusiastic about what it affirmed.

I’d Rather Live in Manhattan

What is ironic, is that I don’t think the creators of the film believe their own message.

The film was written by Greta Gerwig and Noah Baumbac, they are life-partners, and they have two sons together. They make films and have made a family together.

Look, I liked the humour, the critique of patriarchy and male-fragility, but the film denied the inherent goodness of male-female relationships. I hope we can have more than peace between the sexes, maybe we can have loving, wholesome, and rewarding partnerships, in the work place, or even in marriage.

I wouldn’t want to live in Kendom or in my own Mojo Dojo Casa House.

I’d rather be like Greta’s husband Noah, live in Manhattan, with a talented wife, collaborate together, and raise our two sons together.

What do you think? Too harsh or spot on? Tell me in the comments.