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I used to naively buy the argument that complementarian theology was not inherently abusive and a valid reading of scripture. But I’ve come to conclude otherwise.

1 - it’s clear that when one gender is in authority over another, the conditions for abuse are inherently present. When you constantly and energetically teach that men are in charge, have god-given authority over others, and others need to submit without ever having the opportunity or venue for expressing different convictions or leadership - when it is totally up to men whether to solicit or listen to the feedback of women - you set up an potentially abusive environment. And it’s a violation of Gods creational intent in Genesis 1 to “let them rule” - gods creatonal intent for humanity of both genders is joint rule in partnership over the rest of creation - not each other.

2 - it’s been shocking to see men who maintain that they are to be the leaders, authority, decision makers at all times suddenly and quite consistently claim that their abuse is really a consensual affair. Suddenly when accusations of sexual abuse come, they are all into mutuality.

3- finally, abuse may be everywhere in all types of churches and theologies, but if you claim to have the best, most correct theology that leads to the greatest flourishing for women, you should see evidence of superior holiness, care for and flourishing of women in those systems. Maybe we can’t claim the SBC and complementarian theology is not worse than others systems, but there’s no evidence that it leads to overall greater holiness, safety, or flourishing for women and men.

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Thanks Michelle.

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Well said!! We should be the safest place for women on earth, not enablers and disgustingly practitioners and defenders of abuse!

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All Christian men in positions of authority should make this two verses their motto:

Jeremiah 17:9-10

The heart is more deceitful than anything else, and incurable — who can understand it?

I, Yahweh, examine the mind, I test the heart to give to each according to his way, according to what his actions deserve.

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So true!

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